The Christmas Snoop

I can't believe 2 months has passed since my last entry!  It's amazing how life get's hectic...especially during the holiday season.
For now, we live in a small apartment so, needless to say, there is not much storage space.  Luckily for me, Christmas gifts that need to remain hidden have always found a nice home underneath my bed.  Up until this year, my son has been oblivious to this hiding spot.  Of course, I knew the day would come that he would decide he wanted have the scoop on where mom keeps the loot.  I have started noticing that he seems to stare very intently at every plastic bag that makes its way into our home, hoping that he can catch a glimpse of something he isn't yet supposed to see! 
One night last week, I was up late wrapping some gifts.  I'm sure any of you that have wrapped movies or video games knows that they come equipped with the ridiculous (and impossible to remove) plastic casings.  I decided to take those off prior to wrapping and put them in a separare trash bag.  When I was finally finished at about 11:00pm, I announced to my boyfriend that I needed to take this trash bag down to the dumpster tonight.  He did not understand this logic and seemed to think I could just add this to the regular garbage bag and my son would be none the wiser- boy was he underestimating my little spy!  This was the child who would sneak a peak at my check book to see if "Toys R Us" was listed or check the shipping label of every box being delivered!
We will be moving to a new house for the new year so I will have a whole 12 months to come up with new hiding places.  I'm sure creepy basements will have many new hiding places!  He's going to have to step up his game for next Christmas.

The Chore Chart

When my son turned 8 this summer, he was told that he would start having chores.  You see, my boyfriend and I convinced him that WE were both 8 when we started carrying more responsibilities around the house.  My son, being quite quick-witted says "How much allowance will I get?"  Ok, so I can't fault him for being an entrepeneur.  This is the kid who writes his own comic book on lined paper and wants to sell copies for $2 a piece on the playground, so I should have seen the negotiations coming.  Nevertheless, we all agreed on $5 a week if he completed everything.
We made a nice, colorful chart on the computer for each day of the week and even bought the shiny stars that teachers use to say "Good job!" on a piece of homework. The chores started out small with things like Brush Teeth and Shower.  Little by little though, we added more items to the list such as Clean Room, Feed Rabbit and Take Out Garbage.
We are now on our 2nd month of chores and have finally added Dust and Vacuum Living Room to the list (only once a week).  He actually seems to enjoy being challenged and feeling like he is "grown up."  However, there is a part of me that wonders whether having all these chores is a way to help teach him to contribute to a household or a way to take a few things off my plate.  But then I realize, does it matter?!  Someday he will meet a nice girl who will be quite impressed with his abilitiy to pick up a vacuum and a dust cloth without being nagged.
But since that day is far away, I can sit back and revel in the fact that there are FINALLY a few things I can take off my to-do list!  And all that for only $5 a week.

To Infinity and Beyond!

I love Saturdays that are filled with fun (as opposed to those Saturdays filled with cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping), and yesterday was definitley one of those fun ones! 
My son has always been a huge fan of Toy Story, to the point that we have a whole shelf filled with action figures of all the characters we can find.  His favorite, however, is Buzz Lightyear.  We have Buzz toys, pillows, towels, and even a Buzz costume.  Yes, this costume has seen us through many dress-up adventures, despite that fact that it is about 3 sizes too small and gives him the best wedgie I've ever seen.
So of course, when a television commercial announced that there would be a Toy Story Double Feature in 3D, we knew we'd be there. 

So here we are at the theater, waiting in the longest line I've ever seen for a movie (ok, well maybe Twilight had a lot more teeny-boppers, but I wasn't there.).  We have our 3D glasses and our snacks from "outside" that we're ready to sneak in (don't tell me you've never done this!) and we're set for 4 hours of Pixar bliss.  You see, we had to make a stop at Costco before the movie and in case you've never tried it, Costco has these delicious chicken bakes.  The issue, is that they're about 12 inches long and don't easily fit into a purse...especially 3 of them.  Luckily, a soccer mom is always prepared.  I have a nice, big canvas bag in the trunk that holds some blankets for soccer games and practices.  Who will notice a small woman carrying a duffle bag into a theater?  And as for the sodas that were still mostly full?  My boyfriend's windbreaker pockets did the trick!

Now, you'd think that most parents would know the limits of their children and would not take them to a double feature film unless they're confident their attention span can last that long....well, we must have been in a movie theater full of parents who have never tested their childrens' movie watching capabilities. 
We have a little blonde haired boy to the right of us who is crying "You hurt my ear mom.Wahhhhh! Now you hurt my arm. Waahhhhhh! Now you pulled my hair!"  I'm pretty sure the mother was doing none of these things.
Then the child to the left of us starts crying when he has to put his 3D glasses on and the logo jumps out at him.  Wow, this is going to be a long movie. 
And then we have the cute little girl in front of us who is loudly quoting the memorable lines in the movie.  I'm pretty sure that's only endearing the first time around.
So all I can do is remind myself that my son will have a blast regardless of the crying, screaming and quoting kids and this will make for an interesting story to tell later. 

So...to infinity and beyond!

What's on the menu?

My son started making his own lunches when he was still in kindergarten, so he learned the food pyramid pretty early. At first he would just pick out which fruit he wanted and slowly progressed from there. Within a year he had the routine down- sandwich, fruit, dairy, drink, snack. He's allowed to buy school lunch once a week. So every morning is pretty much the same after the Superman alarm goes off. He gets dressed, makes his lunch and snack, gets himself breakfast and is ready to go....except for this morning.


My alarm goes off at its usual 7:00 and I lay there for a little while waiting to hear the pitter-patter of his feet. I hear his dresser drawers open and wonder what interesting outfit he is going to pick for that particular day. Then I hear the refrigerator door open...and close again? Uh-oh. Pretty soon he's standing in my doorway.

Him: Um, Mom? I'm out of yogurts for lunch.
Me: Ok, just bring a string cheese.

A moment passes and he's back.

Him: Mom? I'm out of juice boxes for lunch.
Me: Ok, just fill up a water bottle.

Another moment passes and he's back AGAIN. This can't be good.

Him: Don't get mad, but I'm out of Uncrustables, too.
(For those of you who don't know, Uncrustables are little PB&J sandwiches without the crust that are kept in the freezer until needed. A wonderful invention.)
Me: Seriously? You didn't notice yesterday that you took the last one?!
Him: I should just buy lunch again. It's cheese pizza and it's really good. I mean, we don't really have any other options, right?

Suddenly the little red flag went up in my brain. You see, he had already bought lunch that week and he had a hard time deciding which day to buy- the chicken fingers or the pizza. So he had chosen the chicken fingers, yet here we were on pizza day!

Oh, he's good. What ammo did I have? It was 7 in the morning, I had no coffee in my system yet and he's staring at me with big brown eyes and a pouty bottom lip. He had hit me when my defenses were low and he knew it.

So off he went to school today with $2.25 in his pocket and a big smile on his face...and off I went to Costco so he can't pull that trick again for a long time. And next time, I'll be prepared!

Dinner and a show-off

We had a friend over for dinner last night, which is not very common in our home. It's not that I don't enjoy having friends over, I would love to do it more often, but we have a pretty small place that we all have to eat chinese-style at the coffee table! Luckily, our friend was fine with that so my boyfriend, my son and I all came home early to cook and clean.


Now mind you, my son is only 8 so I wasn't expecting much assistance from him when he had much more important things to do- like ride his scooter or make a mess in his room. Well, much to my surprise, I turn around when I hear the vacuum go on! And after that, he comes into the kitchen asking for the duster so he can dust the living room. Ok, so this kid wants bragging rights...that's fine by me!

So we're sitting at dinner and talking about many random things when my son starts interjecting with "I'm a really fast runner" and "I'm such a good goalie at soccer- I didn't let any balls in last game." When that doesn't get the reaction he's looking for, he decides to bring out the big guns. Suddenly my coffee table is overrun with robots. We have blinking eyes, remote control arms, laser sounds, robotic voices- I'm talking a full-blown duel. All this just to show-off for a new friend. Classic 8 year old material.

But then I started thinking, that with all of the job hunting I have been doing, I could probably learn a valuable lesson from him. When, in the course of traveling from child to adult do we lose that unbending sense of self-confidence? Now of course we all need to teach our children to be humble, and there is a fine line between teaching humility and hurting their self-esteem, but where along the way to we start knocking OURSELVES down a few pegs? So here I've been, searching through all of these job ads and taking myself out of the game (for various reasons) without even giving it a shot!

So I have decided that before I go to bed tonight, I am going to stand in front of the mirror and say "I'm a really fast runner!"

The battle of the laundry basket

The concept is simple- if it's dirty, it goes in the hamper; if it's clean, it goes in the closet.  The execution?  Apparently not so simple.
Yesterday was laundry day....well, it was supposed to be.  The small, wooden hamper used by my boyfriend and I was just coming to the brim.  My son's much larger, pop-up hamper?  Overflowing!  How is it possible that one little body can produce so much dirty laundry?  So I decided to investigate...

Jeans- put on in the morning and changed by 9:00am.  In the hamper anyway.
Sweatpants- put on before dinner and taken off at bedtime.  In the hamper anyway.
A brand new shirt with the tags still on.  In the hamper anyway.
A cheetos wrapper.
Socks- never worn and still folded together neatly.  In the hamper anyway.
A sweatshirt that I don't think was actually worn at any point.  In the hamper anyway.
And the list goes on.

And so the dilemma of how to handle this situation began.
Spray everything with Febreze and secretly put it back?  Hmm, kind of gross.
Dump all the clothes on his bed so he sees the errors of his ways?  Even grosser.
Do the laundry anyway and lecture him later?  Where's the fun in that?!
Drag him along to the laundry room with me, make him carry the baskets and separate all of the socks?  Priceless!

The social calendar of a 3rd grade boy

So I have recently found out that, without my knowing it, 3rd grade has now become the epicenter of the universe and I "just don't understand." 

Today was the first day back to school after a long weekend and my son was scheduled to have a play date.  Now when I was a kid, a "playdate" meant riding my bike down the street on any given day and knocking on a friend's door. 

Well, this is not the way of the world anymore!  Now, we have bus passes and advanced planning must be made so he knows exaclty which mini-skateboard to bring.  He can't bring the blue one to this friend's house because he may already own it AND he wants to have a playdate with a DIFFERENT friend next week, but that friend DOESN'T have the blue one so he might want to bring it then. 

And apparently the playground is no longer just for kickball at recess- it is now the headquarters for official business related to all things 3rd grade.  You have to know the "secret password" to enter the wooden house at the back of the monkey bars...and of course, no girls allowed.  But the girls can still chase you around the playground if you're foolish enough to stray from the house...except now you have bodyguards to make sure they never catch you. 

So, you ask, what goes on inside this secret, wooden house only meant for 3rd grade boys?  Well, it's the home of the Cool Kids Play With Legos Club, of course.  But it's by invitation only- you must receive a secret note inside your desk before lunch time to qualify for entry into this elite club.  And, I'm told you must bring your best Star Wars Lego ship to school as well.  Of course, I only know this because I have the audacity to say "no Legos in school or else they will get lost" and I'm met with a crying, red-faced child telling me that he won't be cool anymore.  Oh the drama.  He's right- I "just don't understand!"

How it started

I was sitting at a Starbucks the other day with a friend of mine, theatrically relaying the frustrating events of the week when she said to me "You know, you should start a blog!"

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there MUST be other moms out there who can relate to my funny, yet often stressful, moments in life. I'm also sure there are many moms out there who just wish their homes could stay organized and that everything could go according to plan! And so begins the Tales of a Neurotic Mom.

So here it is...my blog. I am a young, single mother just trying to make it through each day with my nerves and sanity intact, while still trying to pass valuable lessons on to my 8 year old son. I am also very organized and neurotic about what happens and where things go at home- so this should make for an interesting mix!

I am starting this as a way to remember and share my personal moments in life (the ones that don't seem so funny at the time, but later end up as dinner conversations.). But even more so, I hope that there will be other moms (or dads!) out there that will find themselves relating to my stories more than they thought possible!

So, enjoy!